Celebrating Valentine’s Day as A Single Gal
We’re back again and this time we’re going to focus on an upcoming holiday: Valentine’s Day. My work takes me in several directions as a therapist, but one of the big populations I support are millennials or gen z trying to navigate their way in a world that tries to tell them what they “should” be accomplishing by a certain age or stage.
Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of mixed feelings and can feel like a comparison game, especially when we have to face the holiday without a romantic partner. Maybe you find yourself going through a recent break up, or the dating apps just aren’t doing it these days, or it’s just not the right timing for you and you haven’t found that special someone to share this holiday with.
But here’s the thing: Valentine’s Day does not have to be about romantic relationships. It can be a perfect opportunity to celebrate any type of love: the love of friendship, the love of family, and maybe even give you the opportunity to focus on self-love and celebrate the wonderful person you are—single or not.
If you’re struggling with the upcoming holiday here are a few ways to embrace Valentine’s Day as a single person:
1. Reconnect with Yourself: Take this day as an opportunity to focus on self-care. You can care for yourself just as you’d like someone else to: Buy yourself those chocolates or flowers, take yourself on a fun coffee date, indulge in a long bath, candles lit, music playing the whole she-bang. You get my point. Maybe listening to your favourite podcast, or enjoying a quiet walk, this is about prioritizing your own well-being. Show yourself the same love and care you often give others.
2. Strengthen Friendships: Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers—it’s also a celebration of all kinds of love. Make plans with a friend or two and plan a fun “Galentines” outing or a cozy night in. Pinterest or TikTok may be your best friend here with cute, low-cost ideas on how to celebrate. Maybe you’re going to decorate cookies, put on a movie in your comfy pj’s with some yummy snacks or do a craft together! However you choose to celebrate with your friends, remember that strengthening friendships adds value to your life and can remind you that love comes in many forms!
3. Celebrate Your Independence: Being single allows you to focus on your own personal interests, growth and passions. Maybe you can use this day to reflect on your achievements, your goals, and all the things you’re proud of. If you’re coming up short, maybe you can do some “future self” journalling for what you’ll like to see in your life and break down into steps on how you’re going to make it happen! Celebrate your independence and the freedom that comes with it.
4. Practice Gratitude: Reflect on the people, experiences, and moments you DO have in your life. Remind yourself you are allowed to experience whatever emotions come up, but leave room for what you have in your life. We’re allowed to want more, however if we find ways to be grateful for what we DO have, it can help shift our focus from negative to positive. Gratitude has a place in your life, no matter what you want for your future, as it reminds us to stay in the present moment and appreciate what we have around us.
5. Refrain from Comparing: Comparison can often rob us from the joy of what we do have in our lives, and remember that most people out there are putting out their “highlight reel” of their lives. Social media is not a true representation of every single moment of a person’s life (nor should it be). Try to practice this: imagine yourself living someone else’s life you are jealous of COMPLETELY. You can’t just take the partner they have, you have to take their ENTIRE lives. Do you want it ALL? Likely not. If you DO find yourself wanting their ENTIRE lives, then reflect inward: what can YOU do in YOUR control to get yourself closer then? If you find yourself continuing to compare no matter what, it may be time to take a step back from social media; mute those accounts or log out completely and try some of the above steps.
Last Words:
Remember that you are surrounding by love, you are worthy of love, and you are also in charge of loving yourself, on Valentine’s Day and every other day of the year. Try to find at least one way to love yourself on Valentine’s Day and remember, it is just one day out of 365, don’t let one holiday without a partner ruin it for you!
With love,
Dannika Mete, MSW, RSW